angel pt. 2/8

angel’s dad loved angel. but he also loved alcohol. he loves the smell, the taste, the effects, he lived for it. angel’s dad had to fill a void. his wife, angel’s mother, had died in a car accident. when she left, he felt he had lost a part of himself. to compensate for what he lost, he filled the hole in his heart with alcohol.

it took over his entire life. he would have stashes at home,  stashes at work. if there was alcohol near him, it wouldn’t last long. he was a heavy drinker. he had it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and anytime he was thirsty. some days he would not get out of bed. he would just lay there, stare at the ceiling, and think about his wife.

one morning he stumbled out of bed and went to the restroom. he went to use the bathroom and noticed there was no toilet paper. he bent down to find some in the cabinet under the sink. he reached his hand inside and felt around and knocked over something glass. he picked it up to see what is was. it was his wife’s old nail polish. it cracked. he had her black polish all over his hand.

everything, all his memories he had forgotten, all his thoughts of regret and solitude, had come back flooding in at once. it was too much for him to handle.

he ran to his refrigerator and pulled out one of his six pack of beer. he found his biggest cup and filled it with ice and started pouring as much beer into the cup as possible. he got two bottles into the cup and chugged. he was not drinking just to drink. he was drinking to forget. except this time he could not forget. the smell of her polish was in the air. it was on his fingers, the fridge, the cup. the polish was everywhere, and so was he. his heartbeat was so high. it had never been higher. he threw up. he drank some more. he threw up. he drank some more.

he was not thinking about his wife anymore. all he could think of was drinking. he wanted more and more. he was crying, he was throwing up, he was drinking.

he stopped drinking all of a sudden. he couldn’t drink anymore. he was done. he stumbled to his couch and fell over on it. when he fell, he hit his head on a table.

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